Me too!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Randomize
