Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
