rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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