why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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