dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
