Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
