he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
