I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
