too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize