come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
