I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
