I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he was CRYING into my vagina
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The Olympian is in my bed
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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