nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
