dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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