Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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