I wish I could punch you in the face.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize