omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
