those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
