i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
