end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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