he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
