You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
