idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
