My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
