Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
