So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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