piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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