if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
