Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
