nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
