Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
