So drunk its hurt
Did you just see the Batmobile???
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
