Life is so much better after having sex.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
No subtext here. People are naked.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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