shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
