My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
