It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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