I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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