How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
