We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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