Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
