You don't have asthma, your pregnant
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
