I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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