Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
