yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
