I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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