in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My vagina just recognized that song.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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