You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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