my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Randomize
