Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
