hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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