is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
