college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize