you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
