The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
