Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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