i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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