Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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