That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
