when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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