White coat. Heels.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
