Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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