Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
