Quick, to the slutcave!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
