she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
