return my video game
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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