Plan B is the new Plan A
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
