I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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