did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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