# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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