i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
