So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
