so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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