It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
