ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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