Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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