gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
