Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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