I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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