Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
