I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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